When I grow up...

I am sitting here watching Weeds, only the BEST freakin show ever made and I have decided that I want to be Mary Louise Parker. Not because she has a size 4 ass and waggle free upper arms , damn skinny biotch, but because she makes being stressed sexy. She really works it! My stress just makes me eat more, grow a bigger ass, and yell at my kids. Not at all sexy. Reality lacks the appeal that TV shows have. I guess I would prefer a life with a husband and kids that respect me instead of losing my husband suddenly...of course if he were to drop dead jogging, which will never happen since he doesn't jog, but anyway I wouldn't need to sell weed...just invest the 2 million I got from the insurance. Of course if he were to say, oh get hit by a car while jogging, I would be sitting on 4 million and typing this from St. Thomas.
So tonight I took my son over to his friend's house and they boarded a limo party bus to go to dinner and the Home Coming dance. WTF? A limo for a dance? Apparently this is common place with this family who live here in town while also owning a house in the country on a mere 50 acres. Dude just love telling that story...blah blah blah...look at me Mr. Wonderful crazy ass Jehovahs Witness bragging douche...hey he can be Douche bag of the Day!! My first one! Yes he qualifies for sure. Over and out audience...off to bed.