A Few of my Favorite Things

Okay I am not trying to jack Oprah's idea here but as a mom there are a few things I feel that most of us couldn't live without!
First let me say that this post is not for the young and motherless as you may start to feel bile rise into your throat as you read this. "Can life really be this pathetic after kids?" you will ask. "You have no idea" will be the answer! Before kids I would have had a cool list of things including Starbucks paper cup wraps or those neat little things that go over your high heel tips to prevent you from sinking into the ground at the outdoor party. Sorry but those days are gone so deal with it. I have.
So my first favorite thing is the ziploc bag. Now it doesn't have to be a particular brand, although the pricier brands are better in my opinion. This bag works wonders in so many different ways! Stank diaper in the car while traveling? Zip it. Vomit in the car? Zip it. Ice for a scraped knee? Temporary home for the goldfish won at the county fair? A place to store those ridiculously small toy parts that you will inevitably step on and curse at? ZIP IT!! I can only assume that this crafty, although not environmentally friendly, little critter was devised by a desperate mom but probably not.

My second is the cherry pitter! Oh now I really have your attention! Yes there is such a thing that I picked up in Bed Bath & Beyond. This would fit in the BEYOND category since it is far beyond anything that you would use in the bed or bath and is ridiculously indulgent. Anyway, this little device is so wonderful I cannot gush enough about it! I seriously hate dealing with cherries and the pit mess that the kids leave behind and fret about how to get cherries into fruit salad without leaving someone with a broken tooth or choking! Problem solved. Just put it in, press down, and the pit is poked out no problemo! Seriously a great little invention.

The last is coupons. Oh how I love my coupons! Not in the Kate Gosselin MUST USE A COUPON ON EVERYTHING OR DIE kind of way but just as game to save money. Why more people don't use these is beyond me! Just having learned how to "read" a coupon has made this even more fun but that is topic of my next post. Coupons are money in your wallet! A $1 Q(as we savvy couponers call them) is like a dollar in your hand! They even put them in the store hanging by the product for crying out loud! Attach them to the product even! They all but beg you to buy the damn product from them for less money. If you save $5 each week then in one year you can pocket over $250!!! That's a Coach purse ladies!

Clothing Boards

I will admit it! I belong to several of these boards and they are for the totally sick. Obsessing about kids clothes and when the next sale will be. Seriously people get a life! The worst by far if Gymbofriends. Some of these seriously need to step back from the screen and take a look at what they have been reduced to. No one, and repeat no one but you gives a flying fig about what your kid is wearing.
Now that being said I also admit that I obsess over what my kids wear. There is something to be said for fist impressions. I hate dirty children...except when they are playing outside of course! Hey, I'm no Kate the great! I like my kids to go out looking neat, coordinated, and most of all clean. I have a friend whose DD puts on some of the nastiest outfits and sometimes has the greasiest hair. Tyrolean Lure jeans with a Freshly Picked top-yuck! What is that about? This is the same child that picks on my DD for wearing heels and dresses and skirts. What can I say? Oldest DD likes to "pop"! She is a performer and loves attention and most of all won't go out of the house unless she matches...thank GOD! As a former teacher I have to say you do notice those things. Sad but true.
I find the more time I spend on the boards the more money I spend. My friends like that I have inside scoop about sales, couponing deals, and ways to get things free or really cheap yet barely get on the computer most days. How do you live your life without being on the internet? Some days I wish that were me. I am a slave to this stupid thing and long to be free. But there is crap to explore, deals to be had, and money to be made!
Plus who else could come on here and ramble incesently about stupid shit for the entertainment of others?

He's fallen and can't get up!

The King of Pop I mean. Truly I keep thinking about the demise of Michael Jackson and Ihave very mixed feelings. Was he an extraordinary artist with massive talent? Hell yes he was. Was he a complete freakin wack job with major issues? Hell yes he was.
Was there a chance that he could grow up normally? I doubt it. I mean he was a media darling early one when Joe wasn't beating the hell out of him. Of course he was perfectionist. I'm sure Daddy dearest took care of that need for him. It was his need to be with young boys that scared me the most. Seriously Michael? Did you not see that sharing a bed with a young boy, no matter how innocent your intentions, is just plain sick. Did you see the bedroom on the Matt Lauer interview? Small to say the least. All the better to catch little boys in I'm sure. I think he truly was trying to relive his childhood by surrounding himself with children and toys. The pale face thing? Well I might be persuaded to believe he had a skin disorder that prompted the lightening of all of it....but the plastic surgery...freakish at best. Honestly, why fuck your face up that bad? Was it an attempt to become "white"? I mean he bought sperm to get Debbie Rowe pregnant in order to have light skinned, fair haired children? Are we to believe that he fathered them? It's public knowledge he didn't. I'm sure he was a great dad if you need a full time playmate. Food and physical care was probably best left to the nanny.
Now as for all of the die-hard fans that have now come out of the woodwork...whatever. I liked him back in the day but today? I'm sure he was still a great performer but he was 50. A 50 year old freak! Probably a total perv as well. Save all the candles and accolades for people who actually did something to help the world. All of his time and effort went into stupid Neverland. He was no Oprah that's for sure.
Now he is gone and we will never know if his comeback was noteworthy. Sadly he has gone the way of Elvis and so many others who let fame steal their lives. I am tempted to download a whole bunch of songs onto my Ipod today. His music was great but let's be real people. If he were anyone else he would have been stoned in the streets for the shit he pulled. As a person he sucked. Dangling a baby off a balcony? I rest my case.